Q: How have you prayed about loneliness -- moving to a new city, changing schools, making friends, etc.?

This is the current "Question of the Week" on JSH-Online, and what I posted in response.

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A: Between being an army brat and moving out on my own, I've never really stayed settled anywhere for longer than a few years. So when I started studying Christian Science just before transferring to a university where I didn't know anyone, this paragraph with the marginal heading "Uses of adversity" from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy stood out to me:

Would existence without personal friends be to you a blank? Then the time will come when you will be solitary, left without sympathy; but this seeming vacuum is already filled with divine Love. When this hour of development comes, even if you cling to a sense of personal joys, spiritual Love will force you to accept what best promotes your growth. Friends will betray and enemies will slander, until the lesson is sufficient to exalt you; for “man’s extremity is God’s opportunity.” The author has experienced the foregoing prophecy and its blessings. Thus He teaches mortals to lay down their fleshliness and gain spirituality. This is done through self-abnegation.  Universal Love is the divine way in Christian Science.  (p. 266)

This gave me the impression that sometimes we're going to be alone, but it's always an opportunity for spiritual growth--to better understand God, man, and how God's laws govern everything.  After college, I thought a lot about Mrs. Eddy's definition of "wilderness" from the glossary of Science & Health.  I love that she defines its surface appearance, but then goes on to explain what's really going on in "wilderness" situations:

WILDERNESS. Loneliness, doubt, darkness.  Spontaneity of thought and idea; the vestibule in which a material sense of things disappears, and spiritual sense unfolds the great facts of existence. (p. 597)

 
So I've enjoyed using the time I have alone not to be lonely, but to think about God in all the ways He is a companion and provider--what it means that God is my Father and my Mother. That He is my husband ("Thy maker is thine husband" Isaiah 54:5) and my Shepherd. I'm never alone, because He's always with me--as close to me as my own thought. Every day He's just got something so wonderful in store for me, and He delights in me enjoying it. So I've tried to take the time to listen, to feel that He's near, and just enjoy the "now" He's prepared for me. (See Psalm 23).

And if I ever struggle with loneliness, I just ask God to help me feel that He's with me. To feel at peace. It's actually our divine right to claim that as God's children. But the way I like to claim it is to simply, humbly, ask God for whatever thoughts and feelings I need that moment. I find that prayer is always answered very quickly, usually immediately, and I feel at peace again. 

Decisions, decisions!

Sometimes we're unsure about the decisions we have to make. Sometimes we feel uncertain about the big decisions, but more often we fret over some of the innumerable small ones we have to make on a daily basis. If we're striving to live a spiritually grounded, Christian life, the important part is listening for inspiration along the way.

I experienced this--in a very small way--this morning. I was already out dropping my husband at the rapid station. After that, I knew I had to make one other stop to check for packages at my in-laws' house, and I also wanted to redeem the rewards from my Panera card--a coffee and a pastry--which were expiring today. The hitch was that it's trash day, and I hadn't set out the trash yet, so I had a decision to make. (Like I said, this was certainly not a major life moment or anything.)

From the time I began to think about how to proceed with these errands, I was trying to listen to see if I had any sort of feeling that I should just skip the trip to Panera. Since I didn't, I headed that way after a short stop at my in-laws'. And again, I listened carefully as I pulled into the parking lot. And what did I find? An empty parking spot directly in front of the door. As silly as it may sound, as soon as I realized that, no, that was not a reserved spot, and yes, I was allowed to park there, I just knew that I would have time to get my coffee and pastry and still get home in time to put the garbage out. So I wasn't impatient or worried while I waited in line. I drove the speed limit the whole way home. Once there, I worked quickly, but by no means frantically, to set out the garbage and recyclables. And guess what? The garbage truck came by probably within ten minutes of me setting everything out, just as I was ready to enjoy my treats.

Now, as delicious as I knew my hazelnut coffee and cheese Danish would be, believe it or not, if I'd had a feeling that I needed to head straight home from my in-laws' for trash duty, that's what I would've done. I've just had too many experiences--big and small--that have shown me that being obedient has its rewards. In fact, it's a key theme in the Bible.  (Think of Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Ruth . . . the list goes on.) And now that I'm thinking about it, I see that  practical, daily obedience has several parts. 

First, we have to be willing to let God be in charge. Not to start the day thinking that we're going to force our way through any number of tasks, but rather trust that God will show us, guide us, be with us the whole way, moment by moment--and help us accomplish whatever actually needs to be done.

Next, we have to be actively listening for any instructions God has for us, which I find tend to come in the form of intuitions--things you just seem to be suddenly aware of, seemingly out of nowhere, that would only result in good for anyone involved. 

Lastly, and most importantly, we have to act according to those intuitions to the best of our ability. You might think of it as acting up to your highest sense of what's right. If we make that choice--to do what seems the most right to us--every time we have to make a decision, it can make for some pretty peaceful days.

Just think of it: it's the difference between going to bed at night fretting over what you didn't get done or what you could've done better, or instead, even if things didn't go quite the way you'd imagined, feeling satisfied that you did your best. And when you look at it that way, the decision is simple.

I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me. --Psalm 57:2

[Divine] Love inspires, illumines, designates, and leads the way.  Right motives give pinions to thought, and strength and freedom to speech and action.  --Mary Baker Eddy, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 454